How to Write a Eulogy for a Father

Writing a eulogy for your father is one of the hardest writing tasks you will ever face — and also one of the most meaningful. This guide walks you through it slowly, one step at a time.

Start with a single memory

Don't begin with his birth year or his career. Begin with a picture. The way he stood at the grill. The sound of his keys in the door. A saying he repeated so often you can still hear it. One specific image will do more work than a paragraph of adjectives.

Gather the raw material

Before you write anything, jot down answers to a few questions:

Who was he to you?

Not to the world — to you. What did he teach you without ever sitting you down to teach it?

What are three words that describe him?

Then, for each word, find a moment that proves it. If he was "generous," don't say generous — describe the time he gave his coat away in a parking lot.

Shape it into three stories

The best eulogies tell three stories, not ten facts. One that shows who he was, one that shows what he loved, and one that carries the emotional weight — what you'll miss most.

Close by speaking to him

End by turning from the room to your father. Short. Warm. True. Two or three sentences. Say the thing you would say if it were only the two of you.

A note on nerves

You will not get through it perfectly, and you are not supposed to. A cracked voice at a funeral is not a failure — it is love, out loud. Print it large, breathe, and read slowly.